You just got your paycheck, and it feels like you have all the money in the world. Five days later, you wonder if you'll make it to your next payday.
You wake up energized for the day. One argument with your spouse later, you know you cannot get emotionally involved with anything else until tomorrow.
You finished college, and you think you have all of eternity to live out every dream. Thirty years later, you realize that time is running out to do all you had hoped.
We all have those moments when we feel our reserves are limitless, but they never are. Money, emotion, time...they all run out if we let them. None of us can say “yes” to everything we would like to. Ultimately, every “yes” is a “no” something else.
If you become careless, a “yes” to the fanciest shoes you can find becomes a “no” to next month's heating bill. A “yes” to going to a ballgame with your friends becomes a “no” to seeing your child's dance recital.
In all areas of life, we are wise if we budget what we have now so there can be margin later. Pay attention to your finances so that the “yes” to the shoes only means a “no” to a fancy dinner, not to your bills. Schedule yourself so the “yes” to a ballgame is a “no” to a night at the bar, not to an event for your family.
And all of this also applies to our lives as writers.
I don't want to scare anyone reading this blog out of finishing their first – or next – book. But I do want anyone pursuing that next project to understand that a “yes” to being published always means a “no” to other things. I want to encourage all of us to make sure we make sure each “no” is given to something less valuable than the story we are writing.
Writing a book costs money – in one form or another. You might have to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for editing, publishing and promoting services. Or maybe you know how to do all that yourself, but even then the potential income from doing freelance assignments or a full-time job is lost. You can make the money back, but at first, writing a book is a financial loss. Saying “yes” to writing means saying “no” to other financial decisions, at least for a time. Budget. Make sure your “no” is to something that you and your family did not need.
Writing a book takes time. The Pride of Central took thirty months from first draft to publication. Some authors looking at this blog will snicker at how short that sounds to them. But in that time, I had to make sure the events I said “no” to in order to write my manuscript were ones that did not involve my family. Oh, I'm sure I made that mistake a couple times, but on the whole, I cut out video games and watching non-baseball sports. Make sure when you say “no”you are not hurting your most important relationships.
Writing a book burns energy. It is more than late nights and early mornings chipping away at your sleep. It is self-doubt and frustration. It is confusion and disappointment. It is also joy and celebration. But the highs can wear you down just like the lows do. There is nothing wrong with any of these emotions. You probably aren't taking your writing very seriously if you don't experience each of this feelings somewhat. But too much of them in a short span of time can lead to burnout. There are going to be other emotional issues from your family, job and elsewhere that require you to have a reserve of inner strength. Let your “no” be to things that don't truly require your emotional investment – needless political bickering on social media comes to mind – and not to the support your family and closest friends need.
Your book is important, but don't let it cost you anything even more important.
Next week: Not everyone is being nice